 The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You, by S. Bear Bergman.
This is an essay collection dealing with sex and gender, by an author who is somewhere in the gray area between "very butch woman" and "trans man." Does it matter which? How does one know? As the title of one essay observes, "It's always easier if you can be something they recognize." The author, who goes by Bear and uses ze/hir pronouns, writes about feeling like the Ambassador From Transdom, having to be extra-nice to cisgender people because ze may be the only gender-transgressive person they've ever met. The essay "New Year" contains a story in which Bergman and hir husband (a trans man) heard people debating their genders while sitting nearby in a restaurant. Bergman responded by surreptitiously paying their bill, and when the confused diners came over to ask why, Bergman responded that ze could hear them talking about hir and hir husband, and thought they might want a reason to come introduce themselves. The book was written in 2009, so some parts felt a bit "Queer 101." I would like to think that by now most people understand that names are an important part of our identity, and it's respectful to call people by their chosen names. (We don't interrogate married women to demand their "real" surnames, and you'd think most people know it's rude to ask total strangers about their genitals.) But perhaps I'm being overly optimistic, given the current political landscape. The hardest to read was "Getting Myself Home," a hellacious journey from the US to Canada during a medical crisis, because Bergman figured ze was more likely to receive professional, compassionate care in Canada. But the book ends with "Sing If You're Glad to Be Trans," a refusal to be a "tragic poster child," and a celebration of the joy of being part of the trans community. Now needed more than ever. Popsugar Reading Challenge: Trans or nonbinary protagonist. 52 Book Club Challenge: Uneven number of chapters. Booklist Queen Challenge: Book you own but haven't read.
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